The Fitness Promised Land...Where is it?

Earlier this week a friend asked me how I got here. She meant how did I get to the point where I like working out. She knew me when I got winded walking to my car. She has seen my transformation and is in the midst of her own. Now it seems that she, like many of us, is feeling disheartened with her progress.

But the truth is...I haven't gotten there. I'm not even convinced I ever will. Don't get me wrong, I'm always proud of myself for working out. Always! But...I still hate it. It sucks. It hurts. I'm not getting faster. I'm not getting stronger. In fact, I'm not really sure I'm accomplishing much at all. But (and that is a big BUT because it's what keeps me going) I feel like if I keep doing it, there will come a day when I will see results.

I have friends who talk about a magical runner's high or how great they feel when they work out or even how great they feel after. I got nothin'! Well, that's not true. I've got sucky results and low numbers posted on the results board at the Crossfit box I joined recently, and I've got the occasional tear shed when I have to lift my arms to put on deodorant. Seriously, the other day I considered cutting off my sports bra with a pair of scissors because I didn't want to pull it over my head. Where is my endorphin rush? Where is my high? Where is that awesome feeling Shaun T. keeps promising me?

I saw this picture on Facebook recently, and my first thought was, "If only!"

 

 



OK, I'm through with my rant. I'm frustrated, but I will keep going. I've come a long way, and I have to keep believing that I will get there. I don't exactly know what I mean by there, but I guess I'll know it when I feel it (when I can smile at the thought of running or going to the gym). I know this is a lifestyle change and there is no end product or final exam. I just want to learn to love it. It will get better. I know it will if I keep at it.

I will make it to the fitness promised land or die trying.

On a more positive note (told you the rant was over)...

Another friend reminded me last week of something I told her several years ago. I was leaving school and rolling my cart behind me (empty I guess), and I told her that I brought my cart with me to school everyday so that I would have an excuse to take the elevator and not have to climb the single flight of stairs to get to my classroom. I told her that if I didn't have any books or papers I would just throw my purse in there so it didn't look empty. I don't remember telling her that, but I do remember thinking that. I NEVER went to school without that cart for that very reason. Wow!

So there you have it, B. I'm not there. You're not there. Hell, we may never get there (wherever or whatever that may be), but we will get closer. If you need some encouragement, find your "cart." Take a minute to think about the old you. Maybe look at a picture. Think about some change you have made and then pat yourself on the back. Then go workout. It's OK if you dread it. Do it anyway...and cuss...it helps. :)