Even Slow Progress Is Progress

It dawned on me today at work that I was not dreading tonight's three-mile run. I was not sore from yesterday's four miles, and at that point I was not wishing Gina would be abducted by aliens. That was a big moment for me, as I usually wish strange and horrible things upon her several times a day in anticipation of even our shortest runs...much like the torture I wish upon Elaine on boot camp days. *Exercise makes me mean. I'll turn on you in a heartbeat.

And just when I reached this positivity milestone...what did I do? I went home after work and took a nap. And I woke up from that nap dreading those three miles. I usually dread the first few steps most of all. But, true to motivational form, Gina showed up right on schedule and made me go, and monitored our pace, and told me I was doing great (even when I wasn't), and pushed us through.

The result? WE DID IT! We maintained our goal pace. In fact, our average pace was six seconds under.

Miles: 3.01
Average Pace: 13:43
Duration: 41:15

Now, to what I call a "real runner," those stats will not seem impressive. For me, they are. They do not represent my best times, but they represent an improvement on my recent times. Today, that's what I choose to concentrate on. Progress...slow, steady progress.

Way to go, Gina! I'm proud of us!

And So It Begins...

Today is Day One of our 20 week training program in preparation for the Houston Marathon. While I struggled with the first day's assignment (3 miles at an easy pace), I am convinced that I can actually do this...that I will do this.

I mean, hey, anyone who has known me for any amount of time would never have believed that I would go from here...



AP Scoring, June 2010

 

to here...

 

Semper Fi 5k, August 2013





in just three years. And while those three years have been an amazing, albeit difficult, journey, I think these next 20 weeks are going to push me beyond my limits in ways that will alter my journey permanently.

 

Yesterday, I looked up the pace leaders for our marathon pace group. First, let me explain: Our goal time is the six hour cut-off for the course. We just want to be official finishers, so our goal time is 6 hours (or I guess, technically it is 5:59). To do that we have to average a pace of 13 minutes and 45 seconds per mile. Finding out that there is a 6 hour pace group was a pleasant surprise. There are other runners like us out there! We have our own pace group and awesome pace leaders. One of our team leaders has summited Kilimanjaro and run the Houston Marathon 35 consecutive times. Another one runs all of his marathons carrying an American flag. These amazing runners have finished various marathons in times I can't even imagine attempting, and this year they are devoting themselves to helping runners like me...well, just survive and cross the line. I find that inspiring.

 

So, tonight I struggled, but I will get better. Jen Rhines, Olympic marathoner, once said in an interview, "Life and running are not about times but about the experiences along the way." I'm going to have to agree. Gina reminded me several times tonight to stop concentrating on my time and focus more on the fact that I was still running. For that advice, I am grateful. And as another friend reminded me, I just have to "keep swimming. Just keep swimming" (and hearing Dory singing it in your head helps too).

 

Happy Day One, World!

 

Today began a journey that will end on January 19th at the George R. Brown Convention Center.

It's sure to be an interesting ride, so stay tuned.

 

Today's Run: 3.01 miles @ an average pace of 14:18 per mile for a total of 43 minutes.

 

 

 



"Womanhood - It takes guts."

Today I thank God (and my brother and sis-in-law) for a quiet afternoon spent floating in a pool reading a good book. It's a rare moment these days when I get to read something just for fun, but today I got to do just that. Don't get me wrong, I love reading professional books and even most of the books assigned through my course work, but let's face it, they are not what I would pick up during a mindless excursion through a fun book store. So today I decided to start a book I picked up during my last visit to Austin's Book People (quite possibly one of my favorite places in Texas). I threw the book in my backpack, hopped on my bike, and headed to my brother's for some quiet time soaking in the sun and the water.

The book is Run Like a Girl by Mina Samuels, and it proved to be the best thing I packed for the day. I knew when Samuels referenced one of my all-time favorite writing books (Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott) in her first chapter, that we were going to get along just fine.

Remember that last post where I whined about sucking at running? She read my mind (doubtful my blog). "Look at it this way: less than half of all Americans exercise regularly. If you cycle, or play tennis, or swim, or do yoga three or four times a week, you're not 'ordinary'...even if you don't (probably, especially) if you sometimes don't achieve what you set out to accomplish - you're not ordinary" (13).

Andre Gide once said, "[Wo]man cannot discover new oceans unless [s]he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." Samuels says in the introduction that she wrote this book for women who have lost sight of the shore and found it again. As one of the many, many women out there trying to find the strength to swim that far out, I thank her for inspiring me today.

Don't have much time to devote to this post, so I'm going to keep it short. Gotta get back to reading! I would, however, like to share of few of my favorite lines so far. I hope that you find inspiration in her words as well. Inspiration to take a walk, make a healthy choice, or maybe just to go to the bookstore.

Either way...I hope her words at least give you reason to reflect.

"Human beings, by changing the inner beliefs of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"
(cited as William James,12)

"A woman's physical strength cannot help but become psychological strength" (15).

"When you meet another woman, do you begin by sharing your accomplishments or do you bond over the process of belittling yourselves" (20)?

"I turned my back on my own resistance. I owned my own strength just a little bit more" (44).

"I had a long list of adventures and achievements I thought I'd do later when I established my so-called real life more firmly: climb a mountain, go backpacking, travel to every continent. Run a marathon and write a novel didn't even figure on the to-do list. They were on the 'I can only dream of that' list. I had no idea yet that to do the things I wanted, or even dreamed of, was only a matter of courage, the courage to believe in myself" (49).

Gotta get back to reading now. Maybe I will share more of my thoughts after I finish the book, which I'm guessing will be about 2 a.m.

The Fitness Promised Land...Where is it?

Earlier this week a friend asked me how I got here. She meant how did I get to the point where I like working out. She knew me when I got winded walking to my car. She has seen my transformation and is in the midst of her own. Now it seems that she, like many of us, is feeling disheartened with her progress.

But the truth is...I haven't gotten there. I'm not even convinced I ever will. Don't get me wrong, I'm always proud of myself for working out. Always! But...I still hate it. It sucks. It hurts. I'm not getting faster. I'm not getting stronger. In fact, I'm not really sure I'm accomplishing much at all. But (and that is a big BUT because it's what keeps me going) I feel like if I keep doing it, there will come a day when I will see results.

I have friends who talk about a magical runner's high or how great they feel when they work out or even how great they feel after. I got nothin'! Well, that's not true. I've got sucky results and low numbers posted on the results board at the Crossfit box I joined recently, and I've got the occasional tear shed when I have to lift my arms to put on deodorant. Seriously, the other day I considered cutting off my sports bra with a pair of scissors because I didn't want to pull it over my head. Where is my endorphin rush? Where is my high? Where is that awesome feeling Shaun T. keeps promising me?

I saw this picture on Facebook recently, and my first thought was, "If only!"

 

 



OK, I'm through with my rant. I'm frustrated, but I will keep going. I've come a long way, and I have to keep believing that I will get there. I don't exactly know what I mean by there, but I guess I'll know it when I feel it (when I can smile at the thought of running or going to the gym). I know this is a lifestyle change and there is no end product or final exam. I just want to learn to love it. It will get better. I know it will if I keep at it.

I will make it to the fitness promised land or die trying.

On a more positive note (told you the rant was over)...

Another friend reminded me last week of something I told her several years ago. I was leaving school and rolling my cart behind me (empty I guess), and I told her that I brought my cart with me to school everyday so that I would have an excuse to take the elevator and not have to climb the single flight of stairs to get to my classroom. I told her that if I didn't have any books or papers I would just throw my purse in there so it didn't look empty. I don't remember telling her that, but I do remember thinking that. I NEVER went to school without that cart for that very reason. Wow!

So there you have it, B. I'm not there. You're not there. Hell, we may never get there (wherever or whatever that may be), but we will get closer. If you need some encouragement, find your "cart." Take a minute to think about the old you. Maybe look at a picture. Think about some change you have made and then pat yourself on the back. Then go workout. It's OK if you dread it. Do it anyway...and cuss...it helps. :)

New Year, New Outlook

It’s time for a shift in perspective.  I’m damn proud of what I’ve lost, but it’s time to focus on what I’ve gained!

I can…

1.       Untie my shoes, tie my shoes, untie my shoes… (Seriously, I could do this all day!)

2.       Wear clothes with no X’s on the tags.

3.       Sit comfortably in a stadium seat. (Go TEXANS!)

4.       Fasten an airplane seatbelt without an extension (and with belt to spare).

5.       Run! (I’m slow, but my friend Ginger says that no matter how slow I’m going I still get to call it running.)

6.       Go ahead…read number five again…I can RUN!!!

7.       Do the wave with both hands (no having to use one hand to make sure my shirt doesn’t accidentally rise up and show my midriff). Granted, I have no reason to do the wave, but that’s not the point. I could!

8.       Help Ryan with the yard work. I don’t want to, but I can.

9.       Play on the floor with Kaden or Stella or Piper or Addi…or whoever!

10.   Look forward to many more lists like this one.

And because it is a new year, it is time to think about resolutions. Yah, I know…I should have posted this yesterday, but I’ll work on my poor time management skills next year. I’ve never been good with new year’s resolutions, but here is a short list of goals I hope to meet…make that WILL MEET in 2013.

1.       Take trapeze lessons. *Get your arms ready, Judy Bolin. We’re doing this one together!

2.       Run at least one 5k race or mud run per month. *And take Gina and Ginger along for the fun.

3.       Do a pull-up (an all the way up, badass pull-up). *Just one…I’m not asking for much.

4.       Beat Ryan at ping pong! *The boy’s going DOWN!

5.       Walk across the stage of Hofheinz Pavilion as Dr. Piper. *And then slap Ryan every time he calls me Dr. Pepper.

Well, there you have it. It’s a short list, but it packs a big punch. I promise to keep you posted along the way.

This morning I read an interesting letter from the editor of Self Magazine. She suggested that instead of making an overwhelming 12 month plan or unrealistic resolution, you simply “make the healthiest, smartest, kindest, most optimistic choice you can in the next 10 minutes. Then do it again. Those minutes add up: to a day, a week, a month, and yes, even a year of creating the life (and the body) you want.”

Just think what an amazing year 2013 would be if we all kept that mindset year round!

My Journey Began

This post missed my two year anniversary by two days, but I’m going to blame that on an unexpected trip to the emergency room (I’ll get to that part of the story in my next post). Before I begin to document the current phase of my transformation, I feel the need to bring you up to date (assuming anyone actually reads this).

And so…a little background:

Year One

Starting Weight: 340 lbs.          

      

I had my lap-band surgery on November 18^th, 2010. Insurance did not cover the procedure, so I figured out a way to make it happen thinking it was worth every penny to just wake up skinny and healthy (I was more concerned about the skinny than the healthy). I woke up as neither. The doctor had been very up front with me, but I was still convinced I had undergone a magic surgery that would make the weight fall off while I just sat back and watched it happen. NO!  In fact, the surgery itself proved to be nothing more than a kick-start for me (but don’t get me wrong, kick-start my weight loss it did). The rest, however, was hard work…really hard work that I had not expected. The band just didn’t get it done (although I really wanted it to). I had my band filled and tightened monthly for six months and then I dropped off to every other month. In November of 2011 I had my last fill (partly because I was close to my goal and partly because the fills were only covered in the original cost for one year).

During that year, I began to walk regularly. I talked my mother, my sister, and my friend Susan into going with me to a fitness ranch in Bandera for a week in July, and I joined local boot camp teams in the months that followed. I researched clean eating (even looked into Paleo but couldn’t do it), and completely changed not only the way I consumed food but the way I thought about it as well. In that year, I made lifestyle changes I would not have believed possible (knowing me). My sister-in-law told me this week (on another topic), “I would have lost $1,000 on that bet.” Those are exactly my sentiments for that first year. I wouldn’t have bet on me. In year one I lost 130 lbs.

Oh, I also finally went shopping in October. I had gone from a too tight size 24 to a comfy size 12 with a little room to spare.

 

Year Two

November 18, 2011 - Weight: 195 lbs.

Here are a few of the high points of this year:

·         January 24, 2012 – I met my personal weight loss goal (to lose 150 pounds).

o   Shortly after, my sister-in-law took me shopping in stores I had never dreamed I would enter, much less try on their clothes...Buckle, Forever 21, Victoria’s Secret, etc. It was a fun, fun, day for many reasons.

·         February 14, 2012 – I met my doctor’s goal (to lose 160 pounds).

·         February 28, 2012 – Between February 14^th and 26^th I lost 15 more pounds and got worried. On the 28th, I learned that my band had slipped, and I had to have it completely emptied.

The band has been empty ever since. That means that although it is still in there, it isn’t restrictive. In other words, it isn’t doing anything. I’ve opted not to have it removed, I suppose because I don’t completely trust myself and can have it tightened again at any time…cop out…I know…but I still worry about coming face to face with the old me.

After having the band emptied, I was able to eat more and my food digested more quickly, which wreaked havoc on the metabolism that had become accustomed to 15 months of an extremely low calorie diet. During that time of metabolic adjustment, I gained 15 pounds despite my continued dedication to working out and eating healthy. I panicked and immediately went to my doctor to have the band refilled. He refused and said my body was just adjusting and that he had actually expected me to gain more back. He was pleased; I was not!

·         July 9, 2012 – I started the Insanity workout program with an amazing group of ladies. We turned my living room into a gym, and we WORKED and WORKED (until my school schedule sidelined us). You can read more about that in the archived posts below.

 

·         September 22, 2012 – My first Mud Run...Winnie Wars 5k

o   So much fun! I’m totally hooked and plan to run many more!

 

·         September 23, 2012 – My first regular 5k...The Houston Texans’ Running of the Bulls

o   Finished in an embarrassing 38 minutes, but I met my goal of not walking. Yay me!

                    

·         October 27, 2012 – Jailbreak Mud Run 5K in Houston

      

·         November 12, 2012 – Surgery Number Two (The EXCITING One)

To read about this phase, you have to move on to year three. Trust me, I still have a few surprises up my sleeves.

Gettin' Back To It

I don’t know what happened to me last week, but my body hit a wall. Maybe it was being back at work full time. Maybe it was nervous jitters (first training in new position and it was for administrators…yikes). Whatever it was, I just couldn’t bring myself to do an evening workout. My body ached, and it was all I could do to make it through the day standing. The result? No workout from Tuesday to Saturday. The result of that? OUCH!

Kettlebells with Bob Harper on Sunday had me hurting on Monday morning, but I got up (late) and went for my first run in seven long days. I followed the three mile route and had to walk three times. Yes…three times (hanging head in shame), BUT (lots of emphasis on that BUT) my average time per mile improved. What? Yup…my pace was faster with three walking spurts. Yah…I run/jog/wog/whatever it is I do really sloooooooowly. Embarrassingly slowly. The good news? I’m still lapping everyone sitting on the couch!

The same is true for each of us, ladies. Yes, Insanity Crew, I’m talking to you. We may look a hot mess while we’re doing it. We may moan and groan and have to stop a million times before Shawn gives us a water break (or rewards us by taking his shirt off), but we show up. We sweat and we push and we work!

I’m so proud of each of us. Yes, I’m including myself in that statement. Do you realize that we are on our fifth week together? Five weeks and we’re still going strong! We made a commitment to ourselves and each other and have stuck with it. Kudos! And thank you for keeping me going. You don’t know how many times I have started these workouts, and with no one else to see me, I made it five minutes, ten minutes, or maybe only through the warm-up before I decided to call it quits. It happened a LOT. And now, thanks to you, I’ve stuck with it for five weeks (and doing more than just the warm ups).

OK, enough of the reflection. Let’s get to the nitty gritty:

WEDNESDAY WORKDAY

Your homework assignment? Embrace the boob tube!

That’s right…watch a little television. Get caught up on all those shows you have DVR’ed. Find a marathon of reruns and plant yourself in front of the television. Turn it on at work if you can (you should probably still do your work though). Squeeze as much TV time into your day as you can. Sound too easy to be your assignment? That’s because it is.

You have work to do!

For every commercial that comes on, complete the associated task for the duration of the commercial.

Car Commercials – jog in place

Food/Restaurant Commercials – jumping jacks

Travel Commercials – pulse squats (hold a low squat position and barely pulse up and down)

Television Show Commercials – butt kicks (ugh!)

Movie Trailer – high knees

Health/Beauty Commercials – hold a plank (high or low)

Fitness Commercials – exercise of your choice

Miscellaneous Commercials (don’t fit a category) – push-ups

No fast forwarding or skipping the commercials!

It’s time to whip your inner couch potato into a HOT FRY!

Turn on that TV, ladies, and dig DEEP!